Medical conversations move quickly. This site slows them down
The Reluctant Patient
Stories from the wrong side of the doctor’s desk – with medical notes, music and other distractions along the way.
Latest from the Case Files
Medical misadventures, unexpected diagnoses and life on the wrong side of the doctor’s desk.
4.0.0 The MoT
A routine health check, a phone call in the park and a diagnosis I really wasn’t expecting. Apparently registering with a GP has consequences.
3.0.0 Eyes Wide Shut
Waking up unable to see properly should probably be considered a medical emergency. It took me a little longer to reach that conclusion.
2.0.0 Hungover and Half Deaf
I woke up after a heavy night unable to hear properly out of one ear. Obviously, I assumed it was earwax. It wasn’t earwax.
On Air: Hospital Radio
Every medical misadventure needs a soundtrack. These are mine.
4.0.0 Hospital Radio: Cigarettes & Alcohol
Small Faces, Oasis, Blur and some highly inappropriate bubblegum pop. Hospital Radio responds sensitively to a listener’s unexpected diagnosis.
3.0.0 Hospital Radio: Blinded by the Light
Manfred Mann, Star Trekkin’, the Muppets and a listener with questionable priorities. Just another perfectly normal request show.
2.0.0 Hospital Radio: It’s Oh So Quiet
Björk, Kula Shaker, The Communards and Simon & Garfunkel. An unusually quiet Hospital Radio for a listener who can only hear half of it anyway.
The Waiting Room
Films and television that explain far more about The Reluctant Patient than they probably should.
Canned Carrott (1990-1995)
Jasper Carrott, a psychotic cat and a lorry halfway up a tree. Perhaps this explains The Reluctant Patient’s approach to storytelling.
Casualty (1986-present)
Watching Casualty probably isn’t the best preparation for someone already reluctant to seek medical attention.
Die Another Day (2002)
James Bond has an unusual approach to hospital discharge. The Reluctant Patient is taking notes.
Take a seat in The Waiting Room
Medical Notes
The serious bit. Mostly. Making sense of the medicine behind the misadventures.
Blood Tests
Three tubes of blood went in. A small database of results came back. I’ve since discovered they can take nine.
Blood Pressure
Two numbers that are surprisingly difficult to measure properly — and mine have an irritating habit of being too high.
Brolene
The doctor thought my sight might be in danger and handed me an urgent prescription for Brolene. Finding the right eye drops proved rather less straightforward.